When you look at differences between cultures, there is still a huge gap between western society and other cultures. These differences are mostly in the areas like:
– Marriage (monogamy, polygamy)
– Law (prostitution, pornography, homosexuality, abortion)
– Interpersonal dynamics (sexual rolls that a person can have)
– Cultural values and norms (masturbation, postmenopausal sex)
– Meaning of sexuality
– Sexuality connected or disconnected from reproduction (sex (only) for reproduction and/or pleasure, sex before marriage)
– Sexual violence
– Male/Female double standards and differences
In western society it is shown that Moroccan and Turkish boys have more and early sexual experience than western boys, however they know less about the different subjects that are related towards sexuality. Moroccan and Turkish girls however have less experience than western girls, because there is a sexual taboo and religious taboo on their sexual development, and there are clearly double standards towards the sexuality of the boy and the sexuality of the girl, where boys are more allowed than girls. Sexual forcing also happens more towards Moroccan and Turkish girls than western girls. This all is connected to the religious Islamic raising of children, where sexuality is seen as a taboo, especially before marriage, and especially for the girl. Nowadays highly educated Islamic women can not find a suitable spouse anymore and have to stay virgin till over their thirties. This is however also not good from Islamic point of view, as it is better to marry early and have babies earlier, biologically but also according to the Islamic religion. In general Islamic women score higher on education than their Islamic male counterparts in western society.
What is or is not sexually acceptable is still on debate, as we can not with a western or eastern eye look at how good or wrong sexuality is comparing different cultures with different norms and values. We have to be tolerant to different point of views. However it is clear that in some cultures sexuality is still in the children shoes, there is a lot of misinformation about what healthy sexuality is supposed to be.
In African Islamic countries women are still circumcised with genital mutilation as a consequence. In India there is still a culture of rape where women have no rights and they have to take justice into their own hands, in Islamic countries there is such a thing as honor revenge (killing the women by their own family, if she has had sex before marriage), in Bangladesh there are child marriages where women are under aged and forced to get married (and not even to a good husband).
In Jewish religion the marriage partner takes an important roll, as the bloodline is going through the mothers life line. This is in contrast with the Islamic religion, where the bloodline go’s through the fathers life line.
In Islamic religion there are differences in cultural and ethnical values across the whole Islamic region. Also there are different groups of Muslims, like Shia and Sunni. In Shia Islamic religion it is allowed to have a temporary wedding of three days, while that is not allowed in Sunni Islamic religion. Also in Islamic religion there is such a thing as marrying multiple women, with a maximum of four, when you can treat them right and just at the same time. It is not clear how much this is actually exercised in reality.
In Chinese culture it is wished to have a boy as a child, because they are only allowed to have one child, and the boy can provide more for the family, where the girl normally go’s to the family of the husband once she gets married. So women are skipped from getting born all together in some cases. Also women choose a husband based on having a house, a job and a car.
The root of sexual injustices against women lies in the male dominance and the patriarchal religions and preaching. I doubt if women and men would be in total balance, that there would be still injustice against women. This is why it is healthy as a woman to find your own sexual bliss, your own sexual identity, and your own spiritual values, connected to what you perceive as a woman, because most patriarchal religions that are now across the world look from the perspective of a man. Some religions even see the woman as a not so good version of a human being, or they see giving birth as a sin, and they perceive menstrual blood as dirty, while a baby could’ve been born from that. These ideas make life of a woman quite unfair and unjust. Women feel ashamed of themselves instead of celebrating their women healthy sexuality. It is also healthy to look like a women, have a layer of fatty (also over your belly, because it is healthy for the baby), the whole idea to be totally tight slim these days is not according to how women are designed, it is not healthy for your menstrual cycle and it is not healthy for growing a baby. Women are designed to have a layer of fat, not too much, but still, some curves are healthy!
If you have your own questions about your ideas and feelings, and how they would fit in a healthy way of looking at sexuality, you might benefit from intimacy counselling or single counselling to see where you’re at in your journey, and how you can navigate towards a healthier or better love/intimacy life. Feel free to contact me for an appointment.